I have found myself over the years struggling more and more with my faith. Well not my faith exactly as I am a Catholic and I will always be a Catholic and there is nothing in the 'verse that can take that away from me. What I am struggling with is how the Catholic faith is played out with those in power within the church, some of the teachings of the church and how the church is viewed and treated not just by those looking in at the church but more shockingly those within the church.
I don't feel that I have anywhere to turn to express my feelings, to get peoples thoughts on this or even some support from others who say 'yes... I feel the same way you do'. Instead I am holding the frustration and angst in and it's not doing me any favours, especially since I work for the Catholic Church.... although it does look as though I'm being made redundant soon because funding has become an issue.
I will post as often as I can when I can get any thoughts on to paper. Hopefully having this space to rant and rave will help me become stronger in my faith and perhaps meet a few people who have the same thoughts and feelings as me or even meet some people who can help me put my frustrations to bed or help me come to terms with how I'm feeling so it doesn't become a big problem for me. I do love being Catholic I just wish I didn't get do annoyed by the institutional church.
I understand what you're going through, Spike. There's so much I love about the Catholic Church, but I don't know how to reconcile it with what I don't like. I look forward to seeing where this introspective journey takes you.
ReplyDeleteHi Spike, thank you for the invite over.
ReplyDeleteAs a struggling Protestant, I guess I can partly relate and partly not (many years ago I shared a house with a guy who never went to church at all, but still considered himself a Catholic; he used to enjoy quoting the old Jesuit maxim about "give us a child until (s)he's seven, and (s)he's ours forever").
Somehow or other a church (RC or otherwise) is meant to be both the Body of Christ *and* a bunch of fallen sinners playing stupid religious power games. Sometimes I can see the two mesh, and sometimes I just get frustrated.
Ranting and raving can be good, I reckon; but I try to remember that my rants are no more reliable than the three-in-the-morning thoughts that sometimes go round and round my head - ie not a lot.
I look forward to reading your thoughts, although I can't promise to be as positive as I might like in any responses. On the other hand I will try to be honest.
Hmm. Curiously I seem to be signed in as BlackPhi, but posting comments as PreacherMan - without any obvious way of changing it. Oh well. Take care of yourself.